Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I forget how to act sober
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
