what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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