her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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