areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
