i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
