Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
