You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize