Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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