Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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