her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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