her vagina looked like bernie madoff
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
