im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
