It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize