Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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