Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
