her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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