Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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