Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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