Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
