do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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