I just made out with a guy for $7.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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