So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize