so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
