i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
