You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
