I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
