Where is the hickey?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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