I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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