Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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