Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
