I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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