They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
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