In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
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