I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
