Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
