He kissed a someone with a penis
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I think people are normalizing furries
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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