I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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