i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
