I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
