so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
