had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
