he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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