Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
