There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
