Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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