There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
