Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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