Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
