Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
