i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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