i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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