North Korea, Best Korea!
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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