I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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