Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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