Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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